


For your good or mine

by TheSandAlchemist



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Boys Kissing, Drinking, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Grinding, Kissing, M/M, Secret Crush, Secrets, hangovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSandAlchemist/pseuds/TheSandAlchemist
Summary: It's Tsuna's 18th birthday, and that calls for celebration. But alcohol is the enemy of self-control. Still, Gokudera must fulfill his duties as a righthand man.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Where I'm from, the legal age of drinking is 18. So... just go with it, alright? XP It's all perfectly legal in this AU, I guess.

Gokudera dreaded the sunrise. He had barely slept all night, either lying in bed staring at the ceiling or pacing around his one-room apartment. Right now he was sitting in the window sill, smoking a cigarette through the open window. Come the next morning, he would have to face the Tenth, the rest of the world, and most importantly, he would have to face the idiot... 

_It had been the Tenth's 18th birthday, and they had all celebrated by eating together at Takesushi, and then going out for a drink. One drink had quickly turned to many, especially helped by the lawn-head, who kept getting them more beers, and after a while some sake too. Gokudera had felt the pleasant buzz soon give way to a stronger feeling of drunkenness. Not one to back down from a challenge, he had of course drunk whatever Ryohei had placed before him. While Tsuna had managed to politely decline, both Ryohei, Gokudera and Yamamoto kept drinking. In the end, Tsuna and Kyoko had to carry the boxer home, and Haru had left with them. Reborn also had left early, leaving the teens to fend for themselves. The kids were long gone - Chrome had brought them home after they were done eating - and of course that bastard Hibari had barely shown his face before leaving, so in the end it had been just Gokudera and Yamamoto left._

The silverette considered staying home from school, but in the end decided against it. It would worry the Tenth unnecessarily, and in the end, it wouldn't solve anything. It might even make everything worse. If he could manage to go and act as if it was nothing, as if the world was the same as before, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. His stomach churned all the same. 

_By the time they had decided to leave, Yamamoto was staggering as he made his way out the door. As they reached the point were they had to go their separate ways, Gokudera had decided. Letting this inebriated idiot loose alone in the middle of the night was not a good idea._

_Yamamoto made a confused noise as Gokudera put one arm around his waist and draped Yamamoto's arm over his shoulder._

_"C'mon."_

_"Eh?"_

_"You're crashing at my place tonight. Lessgo."_

_"But... the old man, he's..."_

_"Shut it. I'm not lettin' ya go home to your dad like this, ya idiot! You're drunk!"_

_Yamamoto snickered. "So're you!"_

_"I said shut it," Gokudera scowled back, "what'll yer dad think'f the Tenth if he sends ya home a total drunk?! You're crashin' at mine's, arright? 'S for your own good. Bastard..."_

_And they had staggered off together into the night._

As he felt the cool night air blow across his face, Gokudera closed his eyes, trying to analyze what had happened. Was there something he had overlooked? Yamamoto hadn't exactly put up a fight - then again, he never really did. It had been a perfectly logical conclusion, too. A gullible drunk idiot staggering around alone at night, Yamamoto would have been an easy target, both for rivaling families and random thugs. 

_As usual, Yamamoto's mouth had been going non stop. He was talking about every little thing, about what a great party it had been, about how drunk he was, about the places they passed as they made their way home, about how he loved his friends..._

_"Che! Do you ever stop fuckin' talking?"_

_"Ma ma, 'Dera! Always so grouchy! But I know... I know..." Yamamoto chuckled, watching their feet as they made their unsteady way._

_"Whatcha talkin' about, baseball idiot?" Gokudera could feel his cheeks burning now. Why was he blushing? He shouldn't be blushing, Yamamoto shouldn't effect him, he had a lot of practice resisting this. Apparently he was drunker than he thought, the Italian mused._

_"You like us too, Dera!" And he kissed him on the cheek._

_They both stopped walking. Time stood still. Yamamoto's lips were warm and wet, and he held the sloppy kiss. And Gokudera closed his eyes, and drew a shallow breath. Sparks of excitement shot through his skin. As cliché as it was, Gokudera could in his inebriated state feel his heart skip a beat. And he didn't yell, didn't push, didn't reject it, just let the moment linger._

_It felt so good, just this once, just for a moment, to not have to pretend._

Gokudera touched his cheek where Yamamoto's lips had touched him. His skin tingled, and his stomach lurched as he thought of it. He had fought the feeling for so long, since they had gone to an alternate future. Gokudera had gotten a glimpse of the Yamamoto to be there, and had gotten another glimpse when they faced Gamma for the first time. Strong, determined and willing to do anything for his friends. Even strike them down. Since then, Gokudera's animocity towards the other had not been out of competition, but rather self-preservation. He couldn't allow it, couldn't even admit to himself, couldn't even hope that the other boy felt the same. 

_The sloppy kiss formed into a warm smile, and Gokudera could feel the other's breath on his face._

_"C'mon," Gokudera sighed, and dragged them back to reality. He started walking again, pulling Yamamoto with him._ He's drunk,  _the bomber reminded himself,_ he's drunk, that's all. Nothing more, there shouldn't be more.  _He could still feel the wetness of where Yamamoto's lips had touched him. "Hey, Gokudera, I'm hungry..." Yamamoto complained, moving the conversation along. Gokudera was secretly thankful. "Didn't you stuff your face with enough sushi earlier?" "But that was hooours agooo! 'Dera..."_

_Gokudera didn't have it in him to struggle, not when Yamamoto was this close, and he could smell his hair, feel his warmth... "It's too late to buy anything, we'll make something at home. Can you stop whining until we're home?"_

_Yamamoto beamed. "Thank you, Gokudera! You're so nice..." he was mumbling and ranting again. "Idiot," Gokudera growled, "I'm not nice. Never nice to you..." He felt bad even as he was saying it. But it was hard keeping him at arm's length when they were both Tsuna's most trusted Guardians. The idiot was always too close, Gokudera thought. He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks again, he could feel the taller boy's breath in his ear._

_"S'not true," Yamamoto breathed, "s'very not true. You just dunno it. You're nice. This is nice." Again Gokudera could feel rather than see the taller boy's grin._

_"Idiot, just cuz I don't wanna see you get... It's a favor to the Tenth!" He really wished he would stop blushing. Yamamoto didn't reply, but just smiled. They kept walking in silence._

Recalling this, Gokudera groaned in frustration. Why was he suddenly acting like a stupid girl, like some of those who kept tailing him and Yamamoto around school. And this wasn't any better, losing sleep by pining over the idiot. 

It wasn't a problem for Gokudera that he was gay - he had made peace with his sexuality years ago - but he didn't want it 'out there' all the same. He was a very private person, after all. And there was still the matter of the Vongola. Did mafiosos even have boyfriends? He shook his head. It wasn't even worth considering. He didn't know how Tsuna would react - being the kind and accepting man he was, he would probably be happy for them - but it wasn't a friendship he was wiling to risk. The three of them hung out more or less all the time, what if it turned awkward? The Tenth had been the first to accept him, and for God's sake, he was the right hand man of the next boss of the Vongola! The silverette chuckled to himself as he put out his cigarette. Only after he got in this position in the mafia world did he start getting 'teenager problems'. Fuck it, he was 18 now, he should be able to deal with this! He closed the window and went back to bed. He flopped down on his back, arms and legs spread out across the bed. But his eyes were still wide, and his mind was fully awake. 

 _After they had (finally) gotten home, Gokudera had tried parking Yamamoto in the sofa while he found some food. He wasn't very successful however, and soon had company in the kitchenette. The idiot was more in the way than anything, and Gokudera felt sparks of tension shoot from his skin right to his stomach every time their arms brushed together. He finally found some instant ramen and started boiling water. It wasn't much, but they were too drunk to really be cooking anyway, and fuck it, it wasn't his dad that ran a restaurant. The idiot seemed to be more occupied with hanging around than actually helping. They plopped down on the sofa, and Gokudera found it remarkable how much the idiot managed to talk even while eating._ Although,  _he thought to himself,_ if he wasn't talking, he might expect me to talk.  _They were so rarely alone, Gokudera didn't really know what to say. Yamamoto obviously didn't share this problem._

 _As soon as he was done eating, Gokudera tried to get up. He swayed and fell back into the pillows and needed another attempt. Yamamoto snorted with laughter._ Not endearing whatsoever,  _Gokudera told himself. Definitely not. "Shut it," he barked, "I'm off to bed, see ya tomo-"_

_"Noooooo, Gokudera! I don't wanna, stay!"_

_Yamamoto gripped the silverette's wrist. He wrenched his arm free and marched off to the bathroom. "Che." Gokudera had never invisioned how difficult this would be. Couldn't the swordsman keep his hands to himself? He was all hot and bothered now. Washing his face, he tried to calm down. He could just go to bed and kick Yamamoto out in the morning. Danger passed._

_While Gokudera normally slept naked, he chose to pull on a t-shirt and some pajama pants. Just in case he ran into Yamamoto next morning. It didn't even take that long; when he came out of the bathroom, he found Yamamoto in his bed, under the covers. There was a pile of clothes next to the bed. The raven's eyes were closed, and he was already breathing heavily._

_"Oi! Bastard! The fuck're you doin'?" Gokudera was really blushing now, feeling his face burn. "Fuck off!"_

_"Ngh? 'm tired, 'Dera..."_

_"No shit, so am I! You're sleepin' on th'sofa!" He was so tired, so fucking tired, and he didn't have strength left for this. If there was a God, Gokudera doubted it, but if there was, he really wanted to mess things up for him. His crush, naked or almost naked, in his bed..._

_"C'mon, just lie down, 'Dera... it's a good bed..."_

_Should he just lie on the sofa?_ Fuck that,  _he concluded. Tomorrow, he would be hungover as all fuck, he wanted to at least have a good night's sleep before that, and right now his stubbornness won over caution. He vaulted over the other boy and curled up closest to the wall, trying to put as much distance between himself and the other. If he faced the wall, maybe he could forget he was there. He was so tired he fell asleep almost immediately._

_His plan failed, however. He woke up some time later, feeling very warm, Yamamoto had rolled over, put one arm around the smaller boy's waist and stomach, and was now effectively trapping him against the wall. His steady breathing was tickling his neck hairs, making them stand on end. He was so close, too close and too warm._

_Fuck it._

_He was drunk, Yamamoto was basically throwing himself at him, and he was too tired._

_He turned quickly, suddenly inches away from Yamamoto's face. He tipped his head upwards, felt fear and excitement grip his heart, closed his eyes and closed the space between them._

_Yamamoto's eyes blinked open. He sighed happily and started kissing back, hungrily pulling more from the silverette. Yamamoto tasted of alchohol and ramen, but also of summer rain. Gokudera felt sure his heart was going to explode into a thousand pieces. It was almost a sensory overload when Yamamoto wrapped his arms around him and pulled him over. Now he was lying on top of the taller boy. They were touching from knees to chest, and Yamamoto's hands were om him. One snaked upwards, gripping his hair, and the other was stroking his lower back, right were his t-shirt had ridden up. He gasped, and his kisses turned more greedy, openmouthed and hot against Yamamoto. Their tongues fought for dominance, and Gokudera found he was willingly giving up control of the situation. Their kisses turned steadily more desperate and needy._

_Yamamoto started kissing down his jawline and towards his neck. "Mmh... 'S nice... Mm..." the noices Yamamoto was making only pushed Gokudera further. He couldn't remember ever being this aroused before in his life, and it felt like Yamamoto was enjoying himself too. He could feel the taller boy's erection growing against his own. He pushed into the other, illiciting an immediate reaction. Yamamoto gasped and gripped the silverette's hips, "hah-! Gokude-!"_

_"Shuddup," Gokudera growled, biting into his neck as he ground down with his hips again. He was hot, and Yamamoto was hotter, and so gutwrenching._ _This was the best or the worst he had ever felt, he couldn't tell, and Yamamoto was better yet worse for him than he had imagined._

_~*~_

The next morning, however, Gokudera was sure  _this_ was the worst hw had ever felt in his life. Eveything was spinning, he could feel his pulse in his skull and spine, and he could feel the contents of his stomach struggling to escape. He rolled away from the warmth of the other and staggered into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and slumped over the toilet. He had never been this hungover before, he felt like he was going to die. He didn't have time to reach for painkillers before he was being sick into the toilet bowl. 

"Gokudera?" 

Great. 

"Gokudera, you okay?" 

Considering their shared state of inebriation, Yamamoto sounded annoyingly well. 

"I'm fucking peachy, what the fuck do you think? Just go home, your dad's probably worried." If the idiot could just leave, Gokudera could maybe start processing what had happened the last 12 hours. As soon as he was done expulsing demons from his insides, that is. He could hear the other hesitate through the door. 

"Are you sure? I mean, do you need any -?" 

"I'm fuckin' fine, damnit! Just go home..." and he was being sick again, effectively cutting the conversation short. Through the sounds of himself wretching, he could hear Yamamoto lingering by the door. If only he could just leave... "Go home, dumbass..." Emptying his stomach was quickly draining his strength. He could hear the other boy sigh. "Well, just... call me if you need anything, okay?" Gokudera didn't answer. The silence between them hang heavy. "See you," Yamamoto said in an obviously fake cheerful tone. Gokudera surpressed his next heave until he heard the door shut behind his friend. 

 

~*~ 

 

Gokudera had hoped he would feel better once he had gotten the alcohol out of his system. He felt worse. Not only had he allowed this breach of self-restraint, he had ruined almost everything. He wasn't out to anyone, not even the Tenth. And even if Tsuna was okay with this, being gay and in the mafia wasn't a thing, much less being gay and Vongole Decimo's righthand man. He didn't care about his own reputation, but he would not be a cause of ridicule directed at Tsuna. And also... he had hurt the idiot's feelings. He had gotten a text since he had gone home, just "feeling better?". He hadn't answered. Now his face burnt with shame at the thought of it. It was childish really, he had to face him at school anyway. But he still couldn't make himself do it. What was he supposed to say? His only hope was that Yamamoto had been too drunk and wouldn't remember anything, but he really doubted it. 

Gokudera dreaded the sunrise.

 

~*~

 

Next morning, Yamamoto didn't join them on their walk to school. Gokudera felt guilt eating at his insides again, convinced the other was avoiding him. He was very surprised, however, when the idiot ran into their lecture in the middle of their lecture, apologizing that he had overslept. Gokudera ducked down, faking that he had to get something from his backpack, to avoid eye contact. The baseball player sat down by the door, and Gokudera almost strained his neck in trying to not look at the other. 

"Nee Gokudera, are you okay?" Tsuna whispered to him, concerned etched on his face. "I'm fine!" the silverette hissed back. Seeing his Boss' Super Intuition at work, he continued, it's just that idiot, being late. And he calls himself a fuckin' Guardian..." Tsuna didn't seem satisfied, but he dropped the subject. Gokudera could feel his ears burning from stress and embarrassment. 

Things went better than expected. They were a big group for lunch, both Haru and Kyoko joined them, along with the Lawn-head, Chrome and Reborn, and even Hibari dropped by for a while. Gokudera placed himself as far away from the idiot as possible. Yamamoto actually seemed quite normal, smiling and chatting just like any other day. Gokudera was actually starting to think maybe the idiot really  _didn't_ remember anything. Or at least not the parts that mattered. 

As they left the cafeteria table, Gokudera had finally starting to relax a bit, and dropped his guard by an inch or two. That's when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and a familiar whisper in his ear. 

_"So. Saturday was fun."_

Horrified, Gokudera spun around. "You-!" But he didn't get to say anything else. Yamamoto quickly dragged him into an unused classroom, taking advantage of the hussle of the hallway to get away from their group without them noticing. The raven quickly shut the door behind him, pushing Gokudera into the door. The small classroom was only lit by the light coming from through the windows. They were on the third floor now, far above prying eyes from passing students. All the chairs were stood on the desks, and the board was wiped clean. It didn't seem like the room had been used today.

Yamamoto was boxing him in with his body now, and his eyes were boring into him. Gokudera opened his mouth, but wasn't sure what he would say.  

And then Yamamoto's mouth was upon him again. And it was like electricity, and gokudera felt his heart shatter. The idiot hadn't had the sense to be mad at him? He tried to push the taller boy away, although half-heartedly. It was too good. 

Yamamoto pulled away, but still stayed close. Golden brown eyes bore into jade. "Like this, okay? Just like this." 

Gokudera's mouth fell open. Of all things, he hadn't expected this. His brow furrowed in confusion. 

"Look, no one needs to know. Not even Tsuna, if that's what you want. Just you and me. But..." his mouth stretched into that dazzling smile, "maybe, sometimes, we could hang out, just you and me. Because you can't pretend to hate me anymore, not now."

Lost for words, Gokudera became aware of his hands still resting on Yamamoto's chest, left there from trying to push him away. It seemed that wasn't an option however. Instead, he gripped the front of Yamamoto's shirt and pulled him down for another kiss. And this time, it felt... different. Not heartwrenching, not desperate, but warm and soothing. It filled him from his core and right out to the fingertips clutching at the taller boy's shirt. 

After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart. Gokudera found he couldn't look at the warm brown eyes and soft lips above, it was easier to look at his own hands. He could feel the other's breath against his face again. His brain finally whirred into action and allowed him to string words together. 

"My place. Tonight. Not straight after lectures." Again he could feel the smile of the other rather than see it. "I've got baseball practice today anyway. I can bring sushi?"

"Do what you want, baseball idiot."

And with a smirk, he spun around and hurried out the door and ran to class. 


End file.
